White Christmas

It is looking like I'll have a white Christmas here in Moscow. It has been snowing off and on for the last two days and it has left a decent coating on the streets, sidewalks, trees, etc. Though I'm sad that I won't be home with my family for Christmas, I am confident that I will have a good one with my roommates. For each of us it will be our first Christmas away from home, but we've worked together pretty well to plan what should be a good time; we agreed on no gifts, but a good dinner, some Christmas songs, and the drinking of a lot of Gluhwein planned. Our home internet has been dead for over 2 weeks, but in the act of some sort of miracle it started working (and then died again) and completed the download of A Christmas Story and almost finished It's a Wonderful Life-I'm hoping for another internet miracle tonight. Anyways, I don't really have anything to say, I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas, tell you all to be safe and enjoy the time, remember the true meaning of Christmas and don't cry if you don't get that ipod or whatever, be happy with what you have because most have so much less. Also keep in mind your friends who are suffering and going through rough times, I have some friends undergoing cancer treatments so pray for them, remember the homeless and the lonely, those with nowhere to go and nobody to be with. Regardless of your political views, remember the soldiers overseas, some surrounded by hate who can't be with their families. I think Christmas is a time to be thankful for what you have and to work to help others, not a time to be selfish; if you're stuck in Moscow, be happy you have good friends; if you're stuck in Cincinnati, be happy you're not with Joe Dees in Moscow. Just don't get down on yourselves, feel good and spread the cheer. Well I hope all of your Christmas wishes come true, my only wish is to see that big dog, but I'm willing to wait for something so good.

Post Christmas update: Everything went really well and was a lot of fun. We all drank more than our share and ate until we were full, we sang Christmas songs and even did some dancing. I hope everybody out there had as good of a Christmas as me. I even got my "miracle" and watched It's a Wonderful Life, which like always made me bawl my eyes out-so good. The strangest part of it all was how it felt like Christmas in my heart, but walking around outside the city was still just as angry and busy as ever-"do they know it's Christmas time at all?"

Fondue and Friendly Faces

Here I sit, watching the time tick by as I await the hour of departure, like a condemned man I feel both short of time and like the world has slowed its rotation. Things are good here, it has gotten a little cold and a thin blanket of slow gives the trees a soft and friendly disposition, but at the same time I dream of seeing the sun shine over the rolling Kentucky hills, being received with a friendly smile and thank you after patronizing a store, simple organization, and being shown that ever taken for granted American respect for one another's space. America was founded on space you know. Moscow, Russia is definitely a fun place, but I rarely feel welcomed around the city, the exceptions being when I visit a friend's. Last night was such an occasion. Karsten, his girlfriend, Q-Murder, Juliet, and I were invited to Irina and Evelyn's for a fondue party and found it to be most enjoyable and hospitable. I myself had never been to a fondue party, but found it a lot of fun; it was fromage (cheese), chocolate, and an abundance of wine; of course I was going to like it. Now the hangover from said wine lasted well past noon today, which was truly a blessing in disguise. For it was around 2 o'clock that I managed to drag myself to the 5th Circle to retrieve my passport/visa. And after a 45min wait in the hot, crowded, and stuffy hallway I got into the office to get my stuff, after which I hurried away never minding the 2 snobby, whored up skanks who entered after me, snaking the entire line who had been waiting-- it was not my job to deliver their return for such inconsiderate acts, that is Karma's job, but judging by the respect they gave to themselves, it was no surprise they showed such respect for everyone else, and I believe their turn will definitely come. But my wait ended up being for the good, for on the way home I happened, by pure chance to meet the other (previously only rumored about urban legends) Americans that are here on campus. I was just walking down the sidewalk and heard the sound of well spoken, real English, complete with terms like: "those motherfuckers can fuck theirselves with that shit." "Americans!" I thought excitedly. Turning around I saw the faces of two self-respecting African-Americans (there are many Africans on campus, but you could see the American in these guys' eyes) laughing and smiling as they walked. "Are you American?!" I asked. "Yeah! You?" they responded in equal surprise and excitement. They're from Boston; good Sox and Celtic fans, and had a friend with them from "the good part of Jersey." It was, and they agreed, great to speak freely with another Americans, aside from the d-bag tourists you find on Red Square or wherever. The one even said, "it's wild to just meet somebody and not have to speak slowly to assure their understanding."
Either way I feel that my mission to Russia is now complete and I can go home happy (I still have 19 days) since I met the fabled "other Americans." My French friends have begun their exodus for the Christmas holiday, Celine left this morning, a few others this afternoon, and Juliet will on Saturday. It is really sad to see them go, knowing that more than likely I will never see them again, yet they meant so much to me, and did so much for me over the past few months. But I guess life moves on, and if we still saw and talked to everyone we ever befriended our lives would be too busy and crowded to spend time with those we are truly lucky to be close with. Everybody plays a role in the scripts that are our lives, some have bit parts, some cameos, and some have their names in the opening titles; but either way we all have our roles and influence one another. Not to mention the great differences which keep us separated: with some it is true, measured distance; some it is the impossible to measure distance of death; and with others it is not physical distance at all, we can be just mere feet from one another, looking into one another's eyes, but by various motives we refuse to have anything more to do with one another, regardless of what we meant and did before. I believe that anyone can be strong with a good, strong friend by his/her side, but to march on alone after your friends and comrades are gone takes true strength and courage; and it is this courage that finds the next friend and the next scene of our lives. Sometimes we must be the one who falls out and goes our own way, and sometimes we must be the one from whom is departed, but either way we must be strong and never forget that which we were given by those of our past.

Randomness

I don't know where this will go, but let's see. First off, I'll talk about how awesome it was last night when I went out to an "American" restaurant (we were told it was Mexican-I wouldn't go to an "American" restaurant) that was some weird pseudo-Western restaurant with cowboy stuff everywhere, and instead of being greeted by the typical, extremely loud "UMPTS! UMPTS! UMPTS!" of bad techno, I was greeted by Willie fuckin' Nelson! It was awesome. I can hardly express how great it was to hear the classic country soundtrack of Waylon, Johnny Cash, Willie, Patsy Cline, Hank SR and more. It was like a quiet piece of heaven in the middle of chaos. Seriously, I've gotten to the point that when I go to a restaurant I am relieved if they're playing the original Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears song instead of the techno remix, and to hear Folsom Prison Blues...sunshine after a bad storm. My date thought it was crazy that I knew all the words, she'd never even heard of the people we were listening to, like she looked up at the picture of Roy Rogers above our table and asked who he was. At one point I heard Lorreta Lynn singing Coal Miner's Daughter and thought of John Denver's lyrics in Country Roads: "I hear her voice in the morning as she calls to me, THE RADIO REMINDS ME OF MY HOME FAR AWAY, driving down the road I get a feeling that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday." Call me weird or whatever, but it was so great to hear the songs that remind me of drinking beer, working on cars, and bonding with my father. I think Irina thought I was weird, she even said I might be the strangest person she's ever met, but I take it as a compliment-especially considering that she asked me out again for tonight.
I counted and realized today that I have exactly 1 month left in Moscow. I find that to be really sad, but kinda cool. I've really been enjoying my time here, especially lately I've been having a lot of fun and been feeling great. The city is absolutely incredible and I suggest everybody check it out at least once in their lives, though you'll need more than once to really see and experience it. But at the same time I'm ready for the slow, organized, and relaxed atmosphere of the Kentucky side of Cincinnati. It's all had me reflecting on my experience and thinking, "what have I learned here?" Yeah, I've learned a lot about Russia, the Russians, and Russian, but the biggest thing I've learned is about myself and life in general. I don't want to say that I've found enlightenment or the meaning of life, but I've learned that it really is the small things in life that make it great, yeah the big moments are exciting and can feel triumphant, but it's the little things (especially your own outlook on life) that make life enjoyable and give you happiness. You can't depend on other people to make you happy, if you can't make yourself happy, how can you expect somebody else to do so? But at the same time our own happiness is dependent on others, our lives are all interconnected. We must work everyday to be happy and give happiness to others, we really must treat others the way we would want to be treated, we must be patient with one another, and must feel compassion for your neighbors. We are given but one life (more or less), and once you die you're dead-regardless of the existence of Heaven, Hell, or Reincarnation. You must be confident in yourself and happy in this life, for that is what it is all about, and if there is something afterwards, I think a happy mindset helps you achieve that afterlife which you desire. I think to be genuinely happy you must be good, and according to everything I've read, being good is a prerequisite for that positive afterlife. I don't know, I think happiness is completely exclusive from material possessions, you can be happy with nothing or everything if you put your mind to it and enjoy life for what it is. We can't live just for today, and we can't live just for tomorrow, we must learn the proper balance of the two.
I can also announce that I have what I think is < 90% of my souvenir/Christmas shopping done, which feels really good. But I have one or 2 more things that may or not bring adventure in my quest to buy them-every day out is an adventure for me, it's just the level of adventure that changes. I really can't walk about Moscow without being stared at, I don't know what it is, but it makes some of my friends nervous, and occasionally makes me nervous too. Maybe I'll write about the Izmailovsky Market later, or maybe you can just google it, either way it is an awesome place filled with crazy stuff. I just hope I haven't forgotten anybody (which is most likely inevitable no matter how well I've planned and organized my shopping list) and that everybody likes their haul. Anyways, I'm sure there is more randomness of which to speak, we all know how long winded I can be, but I'll call this entry a game. Until next time, be happy and have fun, I'll see you all soon, and try to write even sooner.