Consumer Products Pt I

Well it seems that my recent trip to Стадион Локомотив (Lokomotiv Stadium) gave me more than just the joy of watching a soccer match. [the match itself wasn't that great, Lokomotiv lost 0-2 and looked terrible, but the stadium is awesome, very modern with jumbotrons, electronic ad boards, and an actual locomotive out in front. It was sweet. And the tickets were decent seats for only 100 rubles] The poor play, coupled with the cold and rain seem to have aided in my picking up a cold. Yesterday I was semi-functional, but today (Oct. 21) I have ordered myself to stay in bed. So since I am absolutely worthless, laying in bed at 1pm and didn't go to class, I figure I'll write a blog and later try and post it through our brand new internet connection at home. (which only works for an hour a day, but that hour is randomly distributed daily) With the cold came the experience of buying and trying Russian cold medication (I was too stupid to pack some DayQuil and NyQuil), so I'll let you know about my favorite consumer products.
I'll start with my recent purchase of the Russian NyQuil equivalent, called Колдрекс Найт. First off, medications in Russia are pretty cheap, this brand name stuff was only like $5. Additionally, medications aren't found in the grocery store, you have to go to the аптека, drug store place . OK, on to the experience. It looked like NyQuil, smelled like NyQuil, I guess it worked liked NyQuil (I slept like 12 hours), but it didn't really taste like NyQuil. The best descriptor I can find would be Roger Miller's description of moonshine in his song 'Chug-a-Lug': “brrbrbbrr I done a double back flip” “mmmm my ears still ring” “wmwme I run ten miles” “makes you wanna holler hidey ho, burns your tummy don't you know.” Or maybe Popeye: “well blow me down.” Stuff was potent. Strongest stuff I've had in my life-I imagine its factory actually being a couple of Kentucky rednecks taking advantage of open and burgeoning Russian markets with less regulation than in the USA by moving their stills to the woods outside Moscow bottling and labeling the stuff as cough medicine. --“Jarvis, you put the dye in it yet?” --”Cletus you done watch-ed me put the sock in it right after I pissed in it for that medikiney flavor.” --”Dang Jar, you knows I can't 'member dat much.” --”'ts Ok just get it bottles and in the truck...and don't forget to scrape the flies off the top this time!” It really put the vodka to shame, which is my next topic. When you go to the grocery store, there is an entire aisle dedicated to liquor, 80% of which is vodka. In a smaller grocery store here, you have more vodka options than you have beer options in Kroger. I won't even venture to guess how many options you have in the larger stores, I'll need to photograph it some time. There is cheap stuff which tastes like rubbing alcohol, but most are really good. I don't drink much of it so I don't really have a favorite, though my roommates always buy one called “Зелёная Марка” (Green Brand/Mark) or something. It is pretty good and runs about $5 per ¾ liter. Or you can buy Stoli for like $6 per ¾ liter, which tastes better IMO, but there are no shortages of options, and the shopping experience becomes overwhelming.
As for beer, there is a decent selection of both Russian beers and your major German brands, as well as Miller Genuine Draft, which still makes me giggle when I see people buy it for the same price and instead of Lowenbrau or Stella. I usually drink Russian beers which run just about $1-$1.50 per liter. There is Baltika #3 or #7 (though there are a few of those numbers in between too), Бочка Золото (Bochka Gold), Невское (Nevskoye), and Старый Мелник (Starii Melnik), as well as a few super cheapies. My favorites are the Невское and Старый Мелник, and my purchase decision is affected by which is available in the bottle at whatever store I'm shopping. Stuff is pretty good, but that doesn't stop my German friend Karsten from bitching about it all the time.
Books. The Russians read a lot. At least half of the people I see on the Metro or bus are reading a newspaper or a book. Bookstores are everywhere and always packed with people. The books themselves are super cheap: I bought a copy of Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea in English for $3. I've seen Tolstoi novels in Russian for like $4, and new, nonfiction works for about $5. Unfortunately, I am yet to find a used book store in which to find old Soviet books of interest to me.
Candy. The Russians seem to love candy as much as me, you can buy it everywhere and for pretty cheap: a Snickers type candy bar is still about 50cents-my favorites are the Mars bar, the Kit Kat big cat, and one called “Nuts,” which is nugat with hazelnuts covered with chocolate. Russian milk chocolate is incredibly good, especially the stuff from the chocolate factory called Красный Октьябр (Red October). It runs about a dollar for a bar a little bigger than your typical Hershey bar, but you can find other good chocolate in the Рынок or from babushkas outside Metro stops for about 50cents.
But the hidden and unknown crown jewel of Russian shopping has to be these things called рулеты, a рулет (rulet) is essentially a giant Little Debbie snack cake which costs about 50 cents (for some reason the cheaper the better). They're available in strawberry, mixed berry, cherry, blueberry and sometimes chocolate. They are like the absolute ultimate of Deezian foods. Can you imaging a Little Debbie strawberry shortcake roll that you can cut up with a knife and give desert to 5-7 people? “Joe, bring your favorite desert to the party.” And I show up with mega Debbie. Glorious.
But don't think shopping is all well and good, yes there are ramen noodles and they're still only like 10 cents per pack, but there are always crowds in the grocery, if you walk too slow and daze off into space you will suffer the fate of the lost and misplaced drunk in Pamplona during the Running of the Bulls. I think they like to hide things in the supermarket too. “There's mayonnaise, ketchup, etc, but where is the mustard? Between the diapers and tampons behind the condoms? Спасибо.” Some things are expensive: orange juice (one of my addictions) is like $5 or more per gallon. And some things just suck. You know the paper they use in the little Gideon Bibles? That's the toilet paper, I just don't know who buys it from whom. Do the Gideons fund their Bible operation by selling toilet paper in Russia, or do the Russian toilet paper manufacturers make extra cash printing Bibles? And the good stuff is like that paper you find in your pocket that you left there and ran through the washing machine, except ironed and put on a roll. Grapes still have seeds, which means the raisins do too. And don't think you'll find orange cheese, and don't ask unless you want to see the angry lady working the cheese counter's confused face. Actually you can find orange cheese, but it requires a trip across the River Styx into the belly of the Beast-the 5th Circle- the Mega-Ashan at the super-mega-mall. Crowds that resemble ants swarming a piece of candy on a summer's sidewalk. “OK, juice, eggs, and cheese; what's this line here by the loading dock? Oh, the checkout line.” You'd think you were waiting to ride the Vortex in 1989-complete with mullets and people engaging in activities describable as foreplay, but without the signs saying how long you'll be waiting from this point.
I should also mention for the smokers that a pack of Marlboros or Camels are about $1.50 and generic brands are as little as 50cents or less. I'll prolly write a Consumer Products Part II sometime, there is a lot of fun to be had-actually I should have planned this all out better and written a multi-part series divided into organized groups: my favorties, butts and booze, other shit, the shopping experience. Go away!

Just a quickie

I went to the embassy to vote yesterday (I never got my absentee ballot so I had to go do a Federal Provisional one) but it was closed (it closed at 4 I was there at 4:15. So I just went down the street and skated the Новый Арбат-where there is a seemingly endless line of low to mid knee height gray marble ledges. Absolutely awesome spot. I skated OK, layed down some cool tricks and a sweet line or two, but it was nothing like the religious experience of my last session. The highlight trick wise was an ollie up on the ledge to ollie up to b/s tailslide on the "extension." But the best part of the session was when I heard kids talking about me, and then after I cussed at an old lady in French I heard one yell "он француц" (he's french) to the other guys. I found it all hilarious. Last night was an awesome night of school night drinking, first at a bar watching the Russia football match, then at some girls' place and then after getting the boot, at some dudes' we barely know where we drank more and watched the Germany match. Now for what actually makes me cool. I went to the embassy and voted today, (which required a >15 minute bus ride in a hot, standing room only bus before a 45 minute ride in a stuffy, stifling packed to the gills Metro) but in the space for President I got to write in big, bold, capital letters: OBAMA, so it was all worth it. Unfortunately they didn't have any of the cool little "I voted" stickers. History is being made. Awesomeness! But probably more important in Kentucky, I got to vote against the bastard Mitch McConnell and write "Lunsford." Now it's just wait and see.

And I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I put in a request to extend my stay here another semester. The school here in Russia has approved, but we're waiting to hear NKU's verdict and word about scholarships, tuition, etc. The decision would put off graduation another semester and therefore delay grad school for a year, but I think it would definitely be worth it in regards to how much I would learn, classes offered, and the impacts of such on my grad school applications. I will keep you updated and maybe try to write a bigger, fuller report in the coming days.

It took me a little while

It took a few weekends more than I thought, do to first jet-lag and then an off weekend, but I finally made it to a football (soccer) match. On Sunday 14 Sept. Karsten, Orlando, and I went to the great Luzhniki Stadium, which as part of the Lenin Sports Complex was built for the 1980 Olympic Games (the ones in which the Americans boycotted in response to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan the previous year). The stadium itself is rather large and of a sort of neo-classical style. It is round, fully enclosed (not a dome, though it does have a partial roof that covers the seating) with sorts of pillars around it. From the outside it is rather plain, on the inside it has artificial turf, 2 jumbotrons that did nothing more than say the score in plain font, and seats of red, orange, and yellow- apparently that color scheme trend of the 1970s did not pass over the Soviet Union. The stadium is easily accessible by the Metro, about a par 5 distance (Tiger could drive it) from the station Спортивная. It is surrounded by a park like setting with areas for giant tents to be set up for events, several smaller outbuildings, a giant statue of Lenin, and a dilapidated looking and nearly crumbling swimming stadium; in other words it is set up well for the Olympic games: plenty of room for people to meander around, a pretty and inviting setting, easily accessible to tourists, etc. The day we were there, there was a chill in the air, with gray clouds, and a cold breeze; the park areas were cordoned off by barricades, the tents closed, no alcohol allowed even in the Metro station, and police/soldiers (they're very difficult to tell apart in Russia) everywhere.
The match was between ЦСКА, one of the Moscow teams, and Луч-Энергия Владивосток, the team from Vladivostok. Honestly, the play wasn't very good, the final score was 3-1 ЦСКА, the goals were decent, but the overall play was no better than you see in the MLS (I've seen much better in MLS actually)-it definitely wasn't like watching a big EPL or World Cup match. The stadium was very empty, one half of it was actually gated off except for a little section for the Vladivostok fans (there were no more than 100 of them in the section!) The ЦСКА section was rather impressive, while not huge, they made a good amount of noise, stomping and chanting waving flags and lighting flares when their team scored, it was really cool. We sat in what we assume to be the soldier and children section. There was maybe 50 of us in the section, 25 being off duty soldiers in dress uniform, freezing due to lack of coats, and then there were a bunch of parents with kids. The kids were really cute all bundled up wearing little ЦСКА hats and scarves waving little flags; two of the older ones, maybe 10-11, were hilarious hooligans in the making, chanting along with the fanatic section and trash talking the entire match.
While the game lacked excitement, other than the gnarlitivity (how's that for a Deezian word?) of the fanatics' songs, chants, stomping, etc, the real experience came afterwards. When we left the stadium we noticed even more police and soldiers than we saw going in, each one eying the group and individuals intently, with their frequency and intensity of their angry looks increasing as we got closer to the Metro station. This then culminated into a grand police and soldier finale. The final 150 or so meters to the Metro's entrance was lined by police and soldiers standing shoulder to shoulder creating a pathway about a meter wide in which to walk. The first 50 meters were ordinary looking police officers, the second 50: police holding their clubs in hand wearing riot helmets, and the last 50: out and out soldiers wearing camouflage holding their batons; each group being separated from the other by officers on horseback. It was a truly intimidating receiving line meant to do exactly what it did: keep order and calm the people walking through. As we approached their receiving line everybody was talking, laughing, hooting, etc, but as we walked along the police path all was quite and it seemed like nobody around uttered a word or sound, every step a horse took in its place rang out loudly and echoed from every direction. The faces of the police and soldiers were far brighter than I would have imagined though, some wore smiles and seemed almost inviting, others had serious and intent looks, while others looked simply bored. In total, I would guess that there were more police/soldiers in and around the stadium than there were fans. But everything seemed to go smoothly, so I guess this Russian formula works in the way intended-then again it was a small match with a team from Vladivostok, who travels the 10 hours from Vladivostok to watch a football match that means almost nothing? I'd say it was the perfect inaugural match for me, calm, not too intimidating and in a what I am told relatively inviting atmosphere. The only trouble we had was upon entering the stadium; my studded belt and chain wallet set off the metal detectors prompting a pat down. The first officer seemed to have serious problems with my stuff, but his superior smiled, waved me on, and said “иностранец” (foreigner) as he shrugged to the first officer. Next time I will, as I did this time, be sure to wear neutral colors, but also avoid anything that could be an issue. Maybe the next match will be packed and really loud: I just hope I sit in the safe kiddie section again!

Update: Well interestingly enough I have now been to another match and still haven't posted about the first. This one was between Динамо (Москва) and Сатурн (from just outside Moscow) at Dynamo stadium in Moscow. I personally think the play was better than the other match though the first half was really boring. I think I liked this one better because it seemed to have less fanfare and I didn't feel as tense: for one Dynamo stadium is 80 years old and feels like a semi-dilapidated highschool or college stadium (very Communist too) so it gave the Russian authorities less concern, for 2 we sat closer to the field among fans that hurled curses at both teams for the entire match, and for 3 I feel much more comfortable in Russia and have developed the ability to communicate with people. The negative of it all was that I got to witness Russian racism: when a black player took a corner and when one was subbed out, parts of the crowd would make monkey noises and yell racial slurs, it was absolutely disgusting. Each and every black player in Russia is a Jackie Robinson showing incredible courage and confidence, I give them my full respect. Other than the racism it was awesome.

Random pictures and normal bs

I guess they consider my language abilities good enough to get by, because they have added classes to my schedule. No longer do I only have Russian language classes 5 hours a day, 6 days a week, but now I have class 5 hours a day, 6 days a week in which 3 hours a week I have a history of Russia class taught in Russian and 1 hour of sport-I chose football (soccer). The history class is really cool, I don't really know what the teacher is saying, (though today I understood pretty well) and I can't get my books for another few days, but I know the material so all is pretty good (I intend to keep my degree in Russian history a secret so that the teacher just thinks I'm some type of history idiot savant-which I may be anyways). In class now we're talking about the origins of the Russian people, not quite my forte or primary era of interest, but it is really cool. Learning Russian history in Russian is absolutely incredible and inspiring to me, I just wish I could understand more and take more history classes-this I think is just what I need though, more conversation in which I'm interested-it has me really motivated to learn more Russian (as if I wasn't already motivated). Since starting the history course a few days ago I have been studying twice as hard, speaking more, reading more, and not as afraid to ask someone a word. I don't think I can stress how much I want to take more classes, I may even look into staying here another semester (but that idea is still a secret). The sport class is really cool, it is just more than an hour every Friday morning on an indoor soccer field. The teacher is an ex-Russian professional, rather strict but fun loving and all smiles. Just like a little practice, we warm-up, due some drills, then divide into teams and scrimmage before warming down and going home. The people in the class are really cool, there are 2 Russian girls, a Russian guy from Vladivostok (which is just as far from Moscow as Cincinnati btw), 2 Iranians, 2 guys from Tanzania, another African from where I forget, and a Venezuelan. Because I'm tall, slow, with good reflexes, and American (a fact that still surprises and intrigues people around here-the coach guessed me to be German or Finish) I was picked to be a вратарь (goalkeeper) and did awesome. My team won 2-1, and the goal against me was just a dumb mistake. The game was a lot of fun even though the Venezuelan was really good and on the other team-he's a great midfielder quick, with good ball handling skills, but can't finish a goal to save his life-I could read him like a book. Anyways, everything is going really well, I'm working hard but having a lot of fun. I have learned a lot and can see/hear improvement everyday; I just have a problem learning verbs, but I think I'll be speaking well by the time I leave.
Last night we had a fire drill in our dormitory: at 4:30AM! We go down stairs and outside and they have people spraying hoses and yelling on megaphones for effect and everything. I guess if you're gonna do it do it right? I also have a new favorite place in Moscow: the рынок (market) just down the road. It is a rather large, sprawling outdoor flea market type place with all kinds of different booths selling everything from fur coats to vegetables, bootleg DVDs to hats, bootleg sports jerseys to lingerie, kitchen appliances to shoes. It is awesome, a great place for anthropological observation as well as good, cheap shopping. Yesterday I bought a bootleg DVD with the first 8 Friday the 13th movies horribly dubbed into Russian with the same guy translating every character with absolutely no emotion. It is one of the funniest things ever bought for $4. The рынок is awesome. The people you meet there, the haggling over prices, the competitors yelling over a lower price to you, and just the all around Russian atmosphere. It is also a great place to hear and speak useful Russian, so I count the money I spend on bootleg DVDs and jerseys to be tax deductible-educational expenses. Anyways, keep it real, enjoy your perfect KY fall weather and check back soon, eventually I'll post the blog about going to the football (soccer) match back in mid Sept. Speaking of football, how 'bout dem Bengals? Browns aren't much better so I won't talk. Наоборот, Go Crew! And I read that post-season baseball is kicking ass too.